Dating For Poor Seniors 2018
The Winter Olympic games in PyeongChang, South Korea, will be an extravaganza of cold weather sports, over which the real-life couples of ice skating will arguably take the center stage. After all, what’s not to love about some sizzling chemistry coupled with elegant choreography and of course bedazzled costumes?
Chalk it up to the cozy moves or the sparks flying between partners that we’ve come to expect from couples on the ice, but there’s something undeniably romantic about a duo that skates in tandem with one another. So perhaps it should come as no surprise that many of the figure skating and ice dancing pairs at the 2018 Winter Olympics are couples both on and off the ice — after all, partners that skate together, stay together. With that in mind, here’s a look at the eight real-life couples who will bring the heat on the ice rink at Pyeongchang this year.
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1. Alexa Scimeca Knierim and Chris Knierim, Team USA figure skating pairs
Team USA’s only figure skating pair this year, Alexa Scimeca Knierem and Chris Knierem will be the first married U.S. couple to go to the games in 20 years, according to NBC. According to an interview with Cosmopolitan, the couple, who tied the knot in 2016 in a ceremony officiated by their coach, Dalilah Sappenfield, first met after Chris’s mom had asked Alexa to skate with him; while Alexa initially turned them down, she changed her mind after seeing him at competitions. The pair’s skating game has only improved since they became a couple; said Chris in the above interview: “I think the difference between us and any other team is that we can make people feel something when we skate,” he said. “We’ve been told a lot of different times that people felt the emotions we’re trying to portray when we skate together. I think that’s our biggest asset — we can still make someone in the audience feel something when were skating and feel that it’s real. Not that we’re acting.”
2. Madison Chock and Evan Bates, Team USA ice dancing
Although Madison Chock and Evan Bates have been skating together for years — the pair grew up skating together as kids in the relatively small skate scene in Michigan and Evan actually took out Madison on their first date for her 16th birthday — the duo weren’t a couple on or off the ice in the beginning of their careers. Both skated with other partners beforehand but what will make this Olympics even more special is that this will be the first games that the pair will be competing as a real-life couple. In an interview with NBC, Evan shared that he thinks this Olympics will be momentous for the both of them. “Being a couple off the ice, I think the experience will be a lot more personal together,” he said.
3. Madison Hubbell and Zachary Donohue, Team USA ice dancing
While Madison Hubbell and Zach Donohue are no longer together, the pair dated for two-and-a-half years despite initially not liking one another as partners on the ice. Ahead of the intense preparation for the 2018 Winter Games, the ice dancing pair decided it was best to split up. In an interview with Team USA, Zach explained it like this: “To work harder and do all of these things right, we just realized that to date and be with each other 24-7 with our particular personalities was just explosive,” Hubbell said, “and we weren’t able to keep our focus where it needed to be. We had to ask ourselves what was more important, our on-ice partnership or our off-ice relationship? And we were both very clearly said the on-ice partnership is No. 1.” Luckily for them, however, they’re dating other skaters. And both couples live and train together in the same house. Madison resides with Spain’s Adrian Diaz in Montreal, and Zach lives with Olivia Smart.
4. Penny Coomes and Nick Buckland, Team Great Britain ice dancing
The British pair are a couple on and off the ice and have been skating together since 2005. According to Shape, Nick said that their relationship has helped the couple focus on their goals as competitors. “We started dating after we began skating together, and it works really well because we have the same goals and aspirations,” he said. “People are surprised because we work and live together, but we get on so well it makes training so easy.”
5. Anna Cappellini and Ondrej Hotarek, Team Italy ice dancing and figure skating, respectively
Anna Cappellini and Ondrej Hotarek’s relationship isn’t your typical figure skating couple’s love story. The pair are both ice skaters, but compete separately; Ondrej, who was born in the Czech Republic, now skates for Italy alongside partner Valentina Marchei, while Anna skates with Luca Lanotte; both will be competing for Italy at Pyeongchang, although Ondrej and Valentina will be performing in figure skating pairs while Anna and Luca will compete in ice dancing. The couple, who married in 2015, prefer not to work together. In a video for the Olympics, Anna explained it thusly: “Luckily, we’ve never had to work together because the few experiences we’ve had weren’t really plain sailing…I think the right balance is that we each do our own thing,” she said.” Ondrej agreed: “It’s best we do other things together rather than skating.”
6. Evgenia Tarasova and Vladimir Morozov, Olympic athletes from Russia, figure skating pairs
The Russian couple began skating together in 2012 but later became involved with each other romantically. In an interview with Golden Skate, Evgenia said that it was sometimes hard to separate their work and private lives.
7. Marie-Jade Lauriault and Romain Le Gac, Team France ice dancing
This ambitious French pair skated with other partners before finding each other in 2014, something that turned out to be fortuitous for their personal lives as well, with the two of them becoming a couple before long. By the end of 2015, the duo had tied the knot — an amazing feat since both revealed in an interview with Golden Skate that neither ever wanted to date their partner on the ice. “Truly, in the beginning, I had a barrier to overcome,” said Marie-Jade Lauriault. “But love was stronger.” She was born in Canada, but became a French citizen in December 2017.
8. Miriam Ziegler and Severin Kiefer, Team Austria figure skating pair
Although Miriam Ziegler began her career as a solo skater, she is now a pairs skater with her boyfriend in real life, Severin Kiefer. In an interview with Skate Guard, Ziegler shared that her ideal day included ordering pizza for a night in of watching movies with Severin.
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Horny old broads, dirty old men. These commonly used terms speak volumes about how society views older people who are interested in sex.
Experts say such derogatory labels reflect a deep level of discomfort in our youth-oriented culture with the idea that seniors are sexually active. Sex is identified with reproduction, youthful attractiveness, and power -- and most young and even middle-aged people do not want to confront the inevitability of growing old.
So sexual intimacy among older Americans is a subject that people don't talk about much. The silence, say experts, allows misconceptions to flourish -- including the widespread assumption that seniors lose interest in sex and are, or should be, asexual.
But armed with a spate of studies that help dispel the myth that older people don't have sex or enjoy it, experts say the negative stereotypes couldn't be farther from the truth.
'There is no age limit on sexuality and sexual activity,' reports Stephanie A. Sanders, PhD, a senior scientist at the sexual research group The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. While the frequency or ability to perform sexually will generally decline modestly as seniors experience the normal physiological changes that accompany aging, reports show that the majority of men and women between the ages of 50 and 80 are still enthusiastic about sex and intimacy.
'Use it or lose it,' says geriatrics expert Walter M. Bortz, author of three books on healthy aging as well as several studies on seniors' sexuality. Dr. Bortz, a professor at Stanford Medical School, is past president of the American Geriatrics Society and former co-chair of the American Medical Association's Task Force on Aging.
'If you stay interested, stay healthy, stay off medications, and have a good mate, then you can have good sex all the way to the end of life,' he says. A Duke University study shows that some 20 percent of people over 65 have sex lives that are better than ever before, he adds.
And although not everyone wants or needs an active sex life, many people continue to be sexual all their lives. 'There's strong data all over: It's a matter of survival,' says Dr. Bortz. 'People that have sex live longer. Married people live longer. People need people. The more intimate the connection, the more powerful the effects.'
But older people may encounter an obstacle they hadn't expected: their adult children, who may be less than pleased to see their aging parents as sexual beings. Such judgmental attitudes prevent many older people from moving in with each other or even having their partner over, according to the late Dr. Jack Parlow, a retired clinical psychologist in Toronto. 'This attitude creates a block to many seniors who want to be sexually active,' he told reporters.
The topic may well lose some of its taboo status, however, as the baby boom generation enters its later years. With their increased numbers and a marked increase in life expectancy, older adults are now the fastest-growing segment of the US population. In 2000, one out of ten Americans was 65 years or older, according to the US Census Bureau. By the year 2030, it is estimated that one in every five Americans will be 65 or over.
'I expect to make love as long as I can'
Louise Wellborn* of Atlanta, Georgia, 73, believes deeply in the benefits of good sex -- at any age. 'Sex keeps you active and alive,' says the former businesswoman. 'I think it's as healthy as can be, in fact I know it. That's what kept my husband alive for so long when he was sick. We had excellent sex, and any kind, at any time of day we wanted.'
After grieving for several years over her husband's death from Alzheimer's, Wellborn began a new relationship with a man in his 80s. They occasionally have sex, but mostly they enjoy each other's company, she says. 'He wants so badly to have an erection, but it's hard for him,' she says. 'It might be the heart medication he's taking that causes the problem, because he's a very virile man. So we just have sex in a different way -- I don't mind at all -- and we're also very affectionate. He says it's so nice to wake up next to me.'
Her mastectomy two years ago after contracting breast cancer hasn't changed her self-image as a sexual being, primarily because Wellborn has had a lifelong positive attitude towards sexuality.
Her experience bolsters experts' contention that patterns of sexuality are set earlier in life. They also note that the biological changes associated with aging are less pronounced and sexuality is less affected if sexual activity is constant throughout life.
Wellborn and her husband were deeply in love, she says. After the children left home and her husband retired, the couple had more freedom to express their sexuality. She says that she and her husband had sex three to four times a week when the children lived at home; once they were alone they made love almost every day.
'I expect to make love as long as I can,' she says. 'I see no reason not to, and I see all kinds of reason why I should. If you've had a good loving man and a good sexual life, you'll miss it terribly if you stop. I've had everything from a cancer operation to shingles, and I'm still sexually active.'
Sex is different but not diminished
Wellborn's openness about sex -- and the frequency with which she has enjoyed it -- may be somewhat unusual, but her perspective is not. One advantage of growing older is that personal relationships can take on increased importance as children and careers take a backseat. Seniors can devote more time and energy to improving their love lives. And while some seniors may be forced to give up strenuous sports, sex is a physical pleasure many older people readily enjoy.
A clear majority of men and women age 45 and up say a satisfying sexual relationship is important to the quality of life, according to a survey by the AARP (the organization formerly known as the American Association of Retired Persons). Nearly two-thirds said they were interested in sex, and more than 40% of Americans 65 to 80 are sexually active, according to a 2018 survey.
Similar findings emerged in a survey conducted by the National Council on the Aging (NCOA). The study found that nearly half of all Americans age 60 or over have sex at least once a month and that nearly half also wanted to have sex more frequently. Another finding: people find their mates more physically attractive over time.
As for making love, it just gets better with age, according to Cornelia Spindel, who married her husband Gerald when she was 72. They met when Gerry Spindel took his wife, who was dying of Alzheimer's, to a kosher nutrition program where Cornelia, a widow, worked as a volunteer. The two gradually became close friends, and after his wife's death, became intimate. When Gerald proposed, she accepted with pleasure. Now, Cornelia said, 'We feel like young lovers or newlyweds. I felt like I was able to make love better when I was 30 than when I was 20, and now I have a whole lifetime of experience.'
Her husband agreed, and dislikes the patronizing attitude many people display toward older people who are intimate. 'Whenever people ask us how long we've been married, we say 'two years,' and they say, 'Oh, that's so cute.' We're 'cute?!' What does that mean?'
Cornelia Spindel agreed. 'I don't know anything about being cute. Our love life is very warm. And very satisfying.'
New treatments for sexual problems
Both men and women can expect normal physiological changes as they age that may affect the way they experience sex. Experts say these changes are not usually a barrier to enjoying a healthy sex life, but couples may have to take more time for arousal.
Postmenopausal women, for example, have lower levels of the hormone estrogen, which in turn decreases vaginal lubrication and elasticity. In many cases, dryness can be relieved by something as simple as using a water-based lubricant like KY Jelly. Doctors can offer other remedies for more difficult cases.
Men may suffer from impotence or have more difficulty achieving and sustaining erections as their blood circulation slows and testosterone levels decrease. Impotence is also more prevalent in men who have a history of heart disease, hypertension, or diabetes. Now, however, sildenafil citrate (Viagra), vardenafil (Levitra), and tadalafil (Cialis) have aided some older men who weren't helped by other treatments. (Some experts, in fact, worry that these drugs may cause an upsurge in AIDS in people over 50, because they are not likely to take precautions; they urge older people who are dating to practice safe sex.)
Some studies also suggest that the supplement ginkgo biloba, which increases circulation, can help treat impotence, but others show no such effect. Men should always check with their doctors before taking it. Among other things, ginkgo can interact with anticoagulants to cause a stroke. Despite these hopeful prognoses, studies show that only a fraction of the seniors who could be treated for sexual problems actually seek medical help. That's too bad, experts say, because even serious medical conditions need not prevent elders from having a satisfying sex life. Seniors should see a physician if they've lost interest in sex or are having sexual difficulties. Some sedatives, most antidepressants, excessive alcohol, and some prescription drugs have side effects that interfere with sex; a doctor can help adjust medication or set guidelines on alcohol intake. Illnesses, disabilities, and surgeries can also affect sexuality, but in general, even disease need not interfere with sexual expression.
The partner gap
The physical changes that occur with age can give older people a chance to revitalize their lovemaking by focusing more on intimacy and closeness instead of sex alone. Often less preoccupied with performance, they can express their affection and closeness in other ways, such as cuddling, kissing, and stroking.
'Sex is being warm and caring; sex isn't just sex,' says Christopher Rhoades,* 66, a San Francisco Bay Area college professor who's been married for 18 years. 'It feels good to lay next to a naked woman's body.'
As he grows older, Rhoades says he doesn't feel the 'compulsion' to have sex as much as he did when he was younger. With a grown son still living at home, he says he makes love less often than he'd like but still enjoys it very much. 'There's a great beauty in the freedom from necessity. Sex becomes more a matter of choice and is more interesting and intriguing for each partner,' he says.
But among older women who are widowed, divorced, or single, finding a partner can be difficult. According to several reports, women make up the majority of the elderly without partners. The reasons: women live longer than men, and healthy older men tend to pair up with younger women. Older women are also judged by society as less attractive than their male counterparts, a double standard that women's groups have long decried.
This 'partner gap' greatly inhibits women's social and sexual activity as they reach their senior years. In the NCOA study, older men are more likely than older women to be married and have sex partners.
For men, 'biology or hydraulics' is the biggest impediment to sex later in life, says Dr. Bortz. 'For women, it's opportunity and availability.'
Mia Pickering,* a 74-year-old San Diego author, knows this all too well. Widowed after two 20-year marriages, she finds herself single again. 'A lively man with something to offer can find a woman 10 or 20 years below his own age, which leaves women in my age bracket generally out of the running,' she says.
Missing male companionship, she has gone out on blind dates and actively sought out partners through dating services and personal ads -- an exercise, she says, in 'futility and frustration.'
Despite these challenges, Pickering, like many seniors, wants to have sex and intimacy in her life. 'At this point I don't have a lot of loose lust flying around,' she says. 'My sex drive has diminished, but if I met a man that really attracted and interested me, it could be restarted.'
* Names have been changed.
* Louise Wellborn has since died.
References
Dating For Poor Seniors 2018 In The United States
AARP. Two-Thirds of Older Adults Are Interested In Sex. May 3, 2018. https://www.aarp.org/health/healthy-living/info-20...
How to Have the Best Sex of Your Life After 50. AARP Magazine, June 6, 2018. https://www.aarp.org/health/healthy-living/info-20...
AARP. 'Modern Maturity Sexuality Survey, http://research.aarp.org/health/mmsexsurvey_1.html
Feifer, Eric. 'Determinants of Sexual Behavior: Middle and Old Age.' Journal of the American Geriatrics Society: Vol. 20. 1972, pp. 151-158. https://agsjournals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/journa...
Sex After a Sexless Marriage. AARP Magazine, June 6, 2018. https://www.aarp.org/health/healthy-living/info-2018/sex-after-sexless-marriage.html?intcmp=AE-HEA-HL-SA50SPL
Dating For Poor Seniors 2018 Images
Mayo Clinic. Erectile Dysfunction. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/erectile-dysfunct...
Sexuality in Older Adults. Family Doctor.org. https://familydoctor.org/sexuality-in-older-adults/