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So for those who don't know me, there was a point where a girl asked to go on a date with me. i said yes, it went pretty well, so we started 'dating'. I found out very early on from a friend that she had new interest in me, found me 'a good friend but nothing romantic at all' and was only doing this to make another guy jealous.
Men that are choosing not to date, what is the reason? I'm semi recently widowed. So my priorities now are: Working through my grief. Keeping busy/working on myself. Meeting new people for friendship. Being the third wheel with all our couple friends sucks even though they are good friends. Also just to mix things up a bit. Totally agree, there are a lot of standard profile phrases that were mildly offputting to me when I was childfree and single (currently childfree and very happily dating a single dad I met on OLD): 'my kids are my #1 priority,' 'no baby mama drama,' 'father to an amazing girl/boy/coolest kid in the world,' 'my kid is my life,' any form of 'I am extremely protective and no you will not be.
I knew about this, but kept going, rationalizing that it felt better (or at least, less bad) to be used than to be alone.
Eventually I felt very mixed up and confused (we'd been 'dating' for 4 weeks and she wouldn't let me give her a hug) and I casually mentioned to my therapist that on the one hand it was better than being alone, but on the other hand it felt very confusing and I wasn't sure I liked it.
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She asked why i didn't just date someone else. I said it was because i had no other options and never in my life had. She said 'That can't be true. I'm sure there are lots of girls who would date you, you just don't realize it.'
A THERAPIST was ignorant enough to say that to me.
Thing is, the reason I know no girls like me is a) no girl ever voluntary starts a conversation with me and b) no girl ever puts in any work to sustain a conversation with me.
If the universe were only populated with girls, I would never say another word in my life. They do not message me, they do not say hi to me, they do not acknowledge my work, they do not ask me questions.
IF I say hi to a girl, she ignores me.
I am invisible.
and dont tell me you need to put more effort i have tried that. what do i exactly need to do? send her happy emoticons to show im a happy person? but does she care about that?
I (25M) am struggling with the ethicallity of dating despite not wanting a relationship.
I've been in 3 serious relationships over the last 6 years, with the most recent one ending 18 months ago. Each ended rather spectacularly, and each provided their emotional baggage. The most recent one ended because l was dishonest and hurt both myself and my SO.
Time has passed and I'm pretty much over my ex but still have a lot of growth to do and projects to undertake, which I want to be alone for so that I can throw myself headlong into it. Despite absolutely not wanting a relationship (as it feels to soon and at the wrong time) I think it might be good to start dating again, just to finally fully move on from my ex. I am however worried about entering the dating scene and hurting people due to getting their hopes up / leading along.
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A girl gave me her number at work today and I'm considering texting her, as she seemed cool. I don't want her to get the wrong idea and I'm also not sure what it is I want, I only know what it is I don't want .