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Having a strong social network has a positive effect on the health of senior citizens. But here's the thing: Finding a partner and friends can be tougher for older adults.

Tammy, a Kalamazoo-area woman, has been searching for that special someone for a long time.

“I'm 65. I am divorced, and I have been on my own for about 18 years,' she says. 'I've had some dates in between.' But nothing turned serious.

She’s even tried a matchmaking service. 'It’s a paid service, where they do a background check and everything… It’s been three or four years since I signed up with them, and they never really got any matches for me.”

Gordon is a 78-year-old man from Portage. He says it’s been hard to move on after the death of his wife of over a half century. She died three years ago.

He has taken a few women out to lunch since her death, but he says he wouldn't call that dating.

“When you’re married that many years as long as I’ve been, you figure you’re never going to find love again because it’s too big of a loss,' he explains, pausing, his voice beginning to crack.

'And to try to overcome that loss is a difficult thing to do.”

Playing cupid: Speed dating

Kim Phillips manages the Portage Senior Center. She's heard similar stories from older adults as they seek to re-enter the dating world.

So in July the senior center started offering its first ever speed dating events to address the social isolation some older adults feel. There's ones for people aged 50 to 65; another for those 65 and up. The response from women has been especially robust, resulting in waiting lists and, ultimately, more sessions added.

It's only been a few weeks since launching, but speed dating has already led to some older adults no longer having to spend their days alone.

'We got a call from a gentleman who was at the first speed dating event on (July) 17th, who said he has made a connection with a woman that night,' Phillips says. 'They have been seeing each other practically every day, and they're happy. He said he almost didn't show up to the event. He was so nervous in the parking lot.'

What was originally supposed to be a handful of speed dating events will now be many ones offered several times a year on either an every-other-month or quarterly basis, officials say.

'Perks them up a lot'

According to the U.S. Census, 14 percent of Kalamazoo County's 250,000-plus residents were over age 65 in 2015. That's more than 35,000 people. The local Area on Aging expects this figure to grow significantly.

Phillips says the agency projects 80 percent more people over age 60 in Kalamazoo County by the year 2030.

She says older adults desire companionship, friendship and love, just like anyone else. 'You don’t have an expiration date,' she says. 'People still want to be social, to make connections and have relationships.”

And the benefits to well-being and health from being connected to others are immense.

That’s according to Cassidy Ardelean, the marketing manager at New Friends Memory Care and Assisted Living in Kalamazoo, where 60 seniors live.

“We have people that have been living on their own and don’t get hardly any socialization. And then when they come live us and you get all that community and the support and relationship-building, you make friendships,' Ardelean says.

'They actually seem to kind of blossom, come out of their shell. Health gets better. They have something to look forward to every day, so it really brings them out of their shell and perks them up a lot.”

Loneliness, isolation harms

A 2011 survey of 350 seniors living in Kalamazoo County showed 29 percent of them reported feeling lonely or isolated. Thirty-three percent said they were depressed. The results were part of the Kalamazoo County Senior Growth Needs Assessment.

In Michigan, 28 percent of people over 65 live by themselves, according to the Census.

Inspired by a film

The Portage Senior Center got the idea to do speed dating from the 2014 documentary “The Age of Love,” a funny yet serious film about seniors participating in such an event in upstate N.Y.

In anticipation of launching speed dating here and with funding from New Friends Memory Care and Assisted Living, center officials presented a free showing of “Age of Love” at Celebration! Cinema at the Crossroads mall on June 5. Portage Senior Center Manager Kim Phillips says they were not sure what to expect.

As the RSVPs rolled in, it became clear that the topic of seniors and love was striking a cord. Two hundred sixty people pre-registered. It was around the time that the box-office-busting movie 'Wonder Woman' opened.

“They actually shifted us into another (larger room in the) theater,' says Phillips, in awe of how supportive area businesses and nonprofits have been. 'They traded us with ‘Wonder Woman’ because our numbers were higher.”

It's showtime

A month later, on a sunny Monday in July, the Senior Center put on its inaugural speed dating event in a private dining-room at Jac’s Cekola’s Pizza restaurant in Portage, which the owners are letting it use at no cost.

The first to arrive for the 4:30 p.m. check-in time are the men.

“Many of the men were ready to date, ready to find that woman to be with,' remarks Gretta Jenkins, Senior Center afternoon receptionist, as the event gets into full swing.

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Twelve men and 12 women aged 65 and higher sit for conversation at cozy, round tables, adorned with fresh flowers. Candles flickered everywhere.

Every five minutes, a bell rings, signaling that it is time to switch.

Gordon, the 78-year-old widower, is there. So is Tammy, the 65-year-old who had the disappointing experience with a matchmaking service.

'Was enjoyable'

At the end of the evening, participants turn in a scorecard, indicating either “Yes” or “No” as to whether they wish to see any of their dates again.

Tammy says she met four strong candidates, and two 'maybes.'

'I’ve always been curious about speed dating. I think that it is a good way to get out and try to make a connection with somebody, to make a new friend,' she says. 'At 65, it’s hard to meet people. You go to church and you see the same people every week. I thought that it was fabulous that the senior center did this for us.”

Gordon marked “Yes” for all 12 women.

He says 'the fact that the evenings and days are long and boring” is what brought him out.

It’s Gordon's sincere hope that he will gain a companion, but, if nothing else, some new friends.

“It was enjoyable,' he says. 'Something new, and I haven’t done anything like that before.”

COMING UP: The next speed dating session is Monday, Aug. 21. For contact info and more, visit Portage Senior Center's Facebook page.

Editor's Rating:

The first speed-dating event took place in Los Angeles in 1998. This innovative way of meeting as many as 25 (though most events top out at 14 or so) possible love interests at one time was created by Antony Beilinsohn, a Los Angeles-based television executive and clearly very creative person.

Speed-dating brings together a group of folks in one space, who have a few basic things in common, including that they are each looking for a relationship. This could be long-term, casual dating, companionship, or some variation on these themes.

Baby-boomers and seniors, no longer into the bar scene or willing to go on a lengthy and possibly unpleasant blind date, have embraced this partner-seeking method more than any other age groups.

One of the benefits of being a mature adult is getting to know yourself and what you want from life and from those who are close to you; speed-dating is peculiarly suited for people who have a powerful sense of self.

How Does Speed-Dating Work?

The following are some of the most common characteristics of speed-dating events:

Before the Speed-Dating Event

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• Pre-registration is required, during which you provide basic information about yourself, including age. Only do this after you have determined you are attending a safe and legitimate service. This helps to match you with those events that will most likely benefit you.
• Each event is designed for a specific age range.
• Expect to meet anywhere from six to 14 possible connections.
• Events are available for all ages, as well as all sexual orientations, and may revolve around a shared religion or other interest (work, hobbies, and so on).

Related: [Podcast] Dating and Finding Love After 55

During the Speed-Dating Event

• Give yourself permission to enjoy this experience and to simply “be present.”
• Each couple is allotted, a predetermined time slot, which can be anywhere from two to possibly as much as 10 minutes to chat and size each other up.
• When the group is made up of men and women, generally the women remain seated while the men rotate. (If there are, say, 12 women, then there will be 12 men.)
• Even if there is no chemistry, it should not be that difficult to keep up friendly chatter until the time is over. Once that bell (or buzzer) sounds, you two are done, and each get to move on.
• Try not to plan beforehand what to say; instead, just be in the moment. You don’t want to seem shallow, but a light-hearted attitude works; these few minutes are to be used to assess if you two want to get to know each better, not to delve to the core of the other’s – or your – very being.
• Do be prepared to change subjects if the other brings up something either off-the-wall or very personal in nature.
• Even if there is a strong attraction, no one is to give out contact information during the session.
• Again, even if there is a strong attraction, do not ask if the other person is going to mark your name as someone they want to get to know better. If they want to, they will; if they don’t then, just like you, they won’t.
• When the allotted time is over, the facilitator will indicate that it’s time to switch partners.

After the Speed-Dating Event

• At the end of the event, the participants each fill out a sheet indicating who they want to get to know better. Both parties would have to indicate a desire to meet again before the event planners would allow an exchange of contact information.

Why Should I Try Speed-Dating?

Here are some of the best reasons to give speed-dating a chance:

• Participants can be reasonably confident they are all there to make a connection with someone who interests them.
• The venue should be comfortable, permitting the participants to easily hear each other (unlike in, say, a bar or restaurant).
• The stress that goes along with a typical blind-date is greatly reduced. If any, or even all, of these “dates” go poorly, each will be over in just a few minutes. Plus, you never have to see these people again! So, enjoy the excitement of searching for treasure.
• It only takes four minutes (or possibly just a few seconds) to decide if you’re interested in someone. Why subject yourself, or anyone else, to a potentially painful hour or more when a few minutes will do?
• Each participant has the freedom to accept or reject those they meet, but only after the event is over and without having to do it face-to-face.
• You can attend as many of these events as are available, and as you choose to.
• There also is online speed-dating. The major drawback to this is that you can’t get the full sense of the other person via a computer screen. Body language, and other signals, however subtle, that would strike you in-person may be completely lost online.
• The rate of successful matches, according to assorted studies, ranges from two to three per in-person speed-dating event per individual. This is versus possibly one out of 99 encounters in traditional online match sites.

The Pros and Cons of Speed-Dating

As for the pros and cons of speed-dating, the in-person version seems to have only one possible drawback: the participation fee. This amount will vary depending on the who’s sponsoring the event, though the likelihood of a “match” is statistically higher at in-person venues.

An online speed-dating web site, in contrast, could much more easily be a sham, though there are some legitimate websites. Sites do come and go, but there are those that have been around for several years.

Even when considering those sites, peruse it carefully to determine how that site operates, what services they can offer you, and what is required of you. Never hand over personal or financial information until you are confident you can trust the site you are relying on.

Where Do I Sign Up?

Speed-dating is such a popular event that there are opportunities across the US. Ask friends and family – you could be surprised at who has used in-person or online services. For more information, search online to find speed-dating in your area. While you’re at it, look for client reviews that are available, as well.